The ultimate guide to defining your style + FREE fillable worksheet
Do you ever look at a woman who has a refined sense of style and just think, She must have her life together. She probably wakes up Cinderella-like with birds tying ribbons in her hair and cherubic mice as her hype men. While this is my actual dream life, cultivating a consistent and intentional look is less about being stylish and more about knowing thyself.
I adore Allie Lehman's maxim for this idea: Be timeless, not trendy.
Define your style – but don’t ever let it define you
This is the point where I so terribly wish we were having this chat in person. So I could shake you or hug you and tell you how much you are loved and how worthwhile it is to invest in yourself, even as you hold down your job or your degree or your family.
But hear me: While finding your style can be a meaningful (and, I would even argue, important) exercise and even an act of self-care, it means nothing if you’re doing it as another means of fitting in or attaining perfection.
Yes, I am just as exhausted as you are by constantly reaching for an unattainable ideal. Defining your own style helps you to step away from others’ ideas of perfection and lean into what makes you feel confident, beautiful and secure.
Okay, let’s dive in. I even made you a free worksheet to follow along and dive deeper 👇
How to find an authentic style that you love
So, how do you begin to define a style that's by you and for you? Start with these five ideas. I pray that this simple exercise will bring you one step closer to deciding to be yourself.
Define your 'why.' This could be anything from I want to feel more confident, to I want to be respected at work, to I want to get ready without having a meltdown. Just like any goal, you need to have a compelling 'why' if you'll ever reach objective and have it stick.
Create a word cloud. First, choose a few words (usually adjectives) that define how you want to feel. Then choose one to two style archetypes (these being the most common style genres)that you want your style to reflect.
These three-ish words will be your litmus test from today forward (of course, you can absolutely edit them as your life and personality changes) whenever you are editing your closet or choosing new pieces.
Check out these words to get you started:
STYLE ARCHETYPE
Casual
Classic
Boho
Romantic
Sporty
Edgy
Preppy
FEEL
Confident
Approachable
Chill
Joyful
Effortless
Put-Together
Sexy
Strong
Let’s say you choose the words confident, effortless, casual and one day you’re editing your closet. You pick up a brightly colored top with an eyelet detail and flutter sleeve. You realize: “I thought I loved this, but I never wear it.” While it might be an objectively lovely top, it sounds more joyful and romantic than it does effortless and casual.
This is critical to realize as you narrow in your authentic style vs. random yet “cute” pieces — you can appreciate something for its aesthetic without applying it to your body.
Write down three times your outfit made you feel like your answers above
What were you wearing? What was it about your outfit that made you feel so confident or inspired or effortless?
If this exercise makes you realize you’ve never felt that way, that’s okay too! Don’t be discouraged – we’re here today to define your style and create a wardrobe that ensures you do feel like that day in and day out.
Create an inspiration board of your favorite looks using Pinterest or an Instagram collection
Create a new Pinterest or Instagram collection of at least 10-20 images.
Analyze the images and notice what they have in common. Drapey sweaters? Neutrals? Romantic details?
Now take note of which of the trends you see in your posts are completely lacking from your closet. Lots of jeans but you own mostly leggings? Or fitted T-shirts but all of yours are oversized?
Add those to your wishlist.
Find your go-to style icons
Going back to Pinterest or Instagram, we’re going to find one or two style icons that you can turn to for future inspo. You might not be able to think of anyone off the top of your head. That's okay! Do a quick search on Pinterest, and I'm sure icons will begin grabbing your eye. I'd recommend at least one classic (e.g. Audrey Hepburn or Brigitte Bardot) and one modern (e.g. Rihanna or Emma Watson).
Ready to get started? Use the form to download my free and updated worksheet and get to work, babe! (PS, when you finish your worksheet, make sure you learn how to shop smarter and have less overwhelm.)